The Love Letter

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PLEASE NOTE:

YOU WILL BECOME A WITNESS OF AN EMOTION-DISSECTION.

ALL LYRICAL CHARACTERS ARE FICTIONAL.

ANY RESEMBLANCE WITH ACTUAL PEOPLE IS NOT INTENTIONAL.

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I wrote something a while ago. It was something like: “think of somebody very dear to you, get a sheet of paper, and write down everything you feel for that person. It’s not that easy, is it?”.

My turn now!

Your smile…

When you touch me…

You make me feel…

Hearing you breathe…

[about the previous four lines] Of course I am joking, you idiot!

First of all – it’s a suicide to feel like **** because you have a memory of something that felt AMAZING.

Ooh, yes, that’s a love letter it should be personal. Scratch the last line and read it here:

First of all – it’s a suicide to feel like **** because of the AMAZING memory I have. It’s like spoiling my chocolate with salt, or drinking my coffee with sugar.

I am not sure which one of those is more bizarre [what a nice word – bizarre!] – the zero expectations I had about you, which turned into something unexplainable, the moments when I don’t really remember that I remembered you that well, or the moment when we blacked out, and then it was already time to uncheck the boxes of my to-do-list for the day and I had to run… OR the fact I am actually writing you a love letter.

You are the first guy I cried for. And if that was what “crying” is, technically, I never cried for the others – turns out I am too selfish to do that. And thank goodness! No idea why it was different with you. It was like a dejavu because I cried twice. How do you even spell “dejavu”?

By the way, I am quite happy you talked a lot. Even though I probably talked a lot too, I am not sure I said enough. I had this weird feeling of being unable to say whatever. Even my sence of humor, which usually gets me out of anything, failed me. I am also happy about the way we said “Bye”. It was more like “See ya!”, then we hurried back home, and we hurried so our minds would be busy with the hurrying instead of the thinking.

I make up memories about you. Just like I read once – about two people who met at a train station, fell in love, and had an hour or something to create memories of their future life together, because they weren’t going to see each other again.

Today [March 20-th is the beginning of the astronomical spring... that came with heavy snow in Sofia] I thought about what to wish you for your birthday, even if I have a pretty big amount of time till then. So I came up with this:

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“You are your biggest masterpiece. I could wish you that you didn’t change. But anyway, masterpieces don’t change – they evolve, they are full of unsaid things, they are provocative. Happy birthday.”

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Time for a “memory” now!

Want to hear it? I mean… come on, it’s a free ride in my sick head. At least you could have a laugh!

…

…

…

…

…

… And since I don’t hear you saying “No”, then the answer must be “Yes”…

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The memory:

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We are playing a game.

In this game I ask – “If I was a feeling, I would be…?”

And you answer – “You would be… the feeling of summer. Insane, amnesia-full summer, that leaves a strange aftertaste of melancholy and euphoria. One of THOSE summers when you want to make a deal with the sun to rise as late as possible so the days speed-down”

Then you ask me – “If I was a number, I would be…?”

And I answer – “You would be 0”

Then, after you give me that look, I continue – “The zero is unique, no minus or plus alternative to it. Everything and nothing in the same time, if of course “everything”, “nothing” or “time” existed in a 0…”

It’s a fun game. You never know where it’s going to take you.

Just for the record – I wish we could kiss again.

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So… after reading my first and last love letter attempt you are either asking:

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What…

the ****?

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or

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Nice to hear from you again!


How are things with you?

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In case it’s the second, my answer will be:

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With me? Well… the ordinary chaos, everything is on its place – no idea where. But it’s fun!

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IN A VIDEO FORMAT, ALL OF THE ABOVE WOULD LAST ABOUT 4.3097 SECONDS.

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DO YOU THINK I SHOULD CREATE A POLL TO CHECK HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE SELF-CENTERED ENOUGH TO THINK THIS IS FOR THEM?

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